Bettie's Books

CELEBRITY DEATH MATCH reviewLes Trois Mousquetaires (31) versus The Count of Monte Cristo The four walked across the vast stretch of lawns leading up to CDM HQ.Over there to the left, The Governessator is kick boxing a sand bag hanging from the sturdy first fork of an oak tree. Down by the entrance to the arbor where pleached dog-roses give shade from October glare, a gathering of CDM script-writers are having an animated chin-wag over a chess-board. Further ahead, by the two ginormous pine-cone statues, Lady Macbeth is showing Alice how to wash thoroughly, and down the slope under a larch, Hamlet and Gustave Doré are waxing melancholic.: Even on the invitation I am not depicted; how rude. No-one remembers to include the fourth. No-one bothers to remember to include me, even though I am the one that turns up to save the day time and again.: Wheesht, you know that you are the one that everyone adores. Let's read through the invitation again to make sure we have it right because this doesn't feel too right does it!?Each of the four looks down at their own white card embossed in gold lettering.: You see, they are all exactly the same; no hidden deviations to give us a clue as to what this is all about.=============================================TO THE THREE M'S AND MOREYou are cordially invited for your meeting with CMC6th October 2011LOCATION: CDM HQ, CELEBRITY CITYTea will be served on the lawn by either/or Mrs B/ Mary Pop-Up depending on the result of another earlier meeting.================================================: Just as well I bought the CDM street guide from that tour operator in the coach carpark as we'd never of been able to find the HQ, what with all the hastily erected add-on buildings. I hear CELEBRITY CITY has its own laws, postage and police - it has country status.: If we hadn't bought that map we would have used the front entrance; that horseshoe edifice with all the failed CDM contestants efigised and stuck on the roof.: The most daunting is Ben Hur in his chariot on the roof overlooking the main entrance. Rumour has it that he met his CDM end whilst distracted and sobbing about putting all his money on the black team.: Maybe they don't realise we are just a private book club within GoodReads. Who or what is CMC?: I think you are right, they have called us in in error. Have you noticed the policemen? Haha - they are all wearing tights and balloon skirts.: It's the pikes they carry that make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe if we explain that there has been a mistake in identity but they would just counter with 'THE CDM IS INFALLIBLE': I ASK AGAIN, WHO OR WHAT IS CMC?: Whilst you lot were in the powder room I asked a loitering old man smoking a malodorous pipe what CMC was, and he turned to his side-kick and laughed maliciously and they went off, hand in hand, to find a bookie.At the top of the sweeping white marble stairs, emerging from ridiculously tall and wide oak doors emerges an individual making soft and tentative limbering-up movements, interspersed with side to side parries with his shaving foil. You could smell his sociopathic tendencies from all the way back here.: I guess this is what is known as a CMCSuddenly a figure dashes up the stairs, clomps the mincing CMC with the current 3 M's and More group read, which is the Cairo Trilogy and you'd have to agree it is a heavyweight.: I was covered on the invitation under the 'more'Easy win for '3 M's and More' GoodReads bookclub!